The Departed

The Departed (2006)
Director: Martin Scorsese

I loved this movie. The best movie I have seen in theater in 2006 by a long shot. And what’s not to like? Scorsese, Nicholason, Damon, DiCaprio, and Ray Winstone (my absolute favorite actor even though no one knows who he is).

Before I start, let me say I have not seen “Internal Affairs” yet. That is the Asian film that “The Departed” was based on. I have heard it was much better; I find that difficult to believe, but people say if you saw that one first you wouldn’t like this one. Well I haven’t, so I am reviewing this movie on its own merits.

The concept for the film is really very simple (as most great films are). There is an undercover cop who has infiltrated the mob, and a mobster who has infiltrated the cops. Each one is trying to find the identity of the other first.

Watching the film was like watching a chess game between two very skilled players, but what is especially great about the film is how it lets you into the player’s heads so you can see their thought process. That’s not an easy thing to accomplish. The only film I have seen that was close was “Millers Crossing” by the Coen Brothers.

Scorsese has a tendency to make films about really esoteric subjects. This film isn’t like that. As a result I think it is also one of his most interesting movies to watch. It also happens to be the first film he has shot in 20 years that isn’t a period piece. That’s quite a major deviation for him. I always knew he was a good filmmaker, but sometimes its hard to tell because you just don’t know what the heck he is trying to show you (as in, "That was probably a tremendous joke that guy just cracked; if only I knew more about the Brooklyn draft riots of 1863 I would probably be laughing a lot right now").

Scorsese said this was the first movie he ever used digital effects in. He had some digital bullet hits instead of squibs. He said he didn't even know they could do digital bullet hits. That made me laugh. He’s Martin Scorsese! How can he not know that you can add in bullet hits digitally? His friend George Lucas created an entire film digitally. I don't think I believe that Scorsese really didn't know that, but it will be really interesting to see where he will go if he starts using more visual effects in his films.

Scorsese knows his stuff. He knows the gangster genre probably better than anyone alive so the details of the film were spot on. That’s always been one of Scorsese specialties. The clothes, the locations, the accents, the mannerisms, the lifestyles, everything is as real as it can get. Watch it. It’s a great film.

My rating: 5 out of 5

Slither

Slither (2006)
Director: James Gunn

I think this film wants to make you vomit. I don’t know about you, but that is not a quality I am looking for in my films. Being scared is fine; being in suspense is great, vomiting is not. I really think that is what this film was going for. It has some pretty disgusting moments. While I was watching it I kept feeling this retching feeling at the back of my throat during certain scenes. In fact, I am feeling it now as I write this review and think about the movie.

The story runs like this: A meteor falls to earth. It has an alien life in it which shoots into people and uses them as an incubation device. This of course means then when the aliens decide to hatch out of incubation…well its not a pretty picture as you may imagine. In the meantime the people who have aliens incubating inside them turn into rotting-corpse looking creatures, or in the case of the head alien, just a big pile of disgustingness.

The idea itself isn’t a bad one, and its executed in a relatively skillful way. In fact, the idea is much more original than many other horror movies. But as I said before, it’s just too disgusting to be really enjoyable. This movie was confused as to whether it wanted to be a comedy or a horror and while it was trying to figure that out it failed in both categories.

My rating: 2 out of 5

Nacho Libre

Nacho Libre (2006)
Director: Jared Hess

This is not a funny movie. At all. There were about 3 laughs in the entire movie and even those were fart jokes (good ones, but still fart jokes).

Jack Black is a funny funny man. How on earth did they ever make him so unfunny in this movie? I think it had a lot to do with his co-star Héctor Jiménez. The guy is completely void of any humor, charisma, or charm. Nothing about him is something you want to watch for 2 hours. I think he was cast largely because he looks funny. The director seems to like ridiculous caricatures of people; it could work under better direction but it didn’t work in Napoleon Dynamite, and it doesn’t work here.

The plot is this: Jack black is a friar who works as a cook at an orphanage. In the evenings he puts on a mask and moonlights as a wrestler to pay for food for the orphans. Sounds like a good movie in the making. But just wait until you see it; you will be unpleasantly surprised.

The wrestling scenes could have been much funnier, they really lacked any energy and kind of reminded me what a wrestling scene looks like when filmed by 4th graders (but with a little better editing). I think this film was afraid to offend someone. There was a scene where Jack Black tries to hit this lady with a huge upright bass. When I saw that happen I said to myself: "Haha!!! Finally a funny scene" but then he missed and hit someone else and I said "Great. I haven’t seen that a million times before."

My rating: 2 out of 5

The Break-up

The Break-up (2006)
Director: Peyton Reed

Was this supposed to be a comedy? I couldn’t tell. It had some funny moments in it I suppose, but mostly it was just uncomfortable; like being stuck in a room while two of your friends are having a heated argument. The movie starts out with building character and trying to get you to like the two leads (Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston). That isn’t hard. They are both very likable characters. The problem then occurs with the rest of the movie after they break-up. The rest of the movie consists of the two of them doing things to hurt each other and trying to make each other feel bad. I don’t want to see that. That doesn’t make me smile; that isn’t funny. That’s cruel.

It could be funny. Comedy is basically tragedy seen from a different perspective, so I think they were on the right track with this movie; they just forgot to give us the other perspective. I realize this coule be a very realistic portrayal of a relationship; in fact I have heard these exact same arguments between people before. Kudos to the writers for getting that right. And I don’t mind sad stories, angry stories or stories that show the world how it really is. In fact, I usually prefer those stories. This film does that, but it does it by accident. You can’t say “Plan 9 from Outer Space” is truly a great comedy because it wasn’t meant to be a comedy, and in the same way you can’t say that “The Break-up” is a great drama because it wasn’t meant to be one.

The funniest moments come from John Favreau and Vince Vaughn together. They are funny and anytime they are on screen together you can’t help but laugh. The two of them hit all the right notes, but its not enough to save the film.

Maybe, just maybe if the ending had been different, it could have been a better comedy. But the film is what it is. Not a bad drama, but not a great comedy.

My rating: 3 out of 5

The Colditz Story

The Colditz Story (1955)
Director: Guy Hamilton

"The Colditz story" is a true story. I have read the book of the same title, written by Patrick Reid, a British escapee. It really is an amazing story, and I have been always partial to movies about prison breaks. The movie claims that more people escaped from this “escape proof” POW camp than in all the other POW camps combined (I don't think that is realistic, but an impressive claim nonetheless).

George Roy Hill the director of “The Sting” and “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” once said “The Audiences love how-to”. It’s true. People watching movies like to see how things are done; all the details. I think that was one of the key elements that this film was missing. The escapes are amazing but we don’t get to see much about them. The POWs sneak out at night dressed like German guards but where did they get the materials for the uniforms? How long did it take to make the uniforms? Did they make them at all or did they steal them? Its such a great story you just feel a little in the dark when you aren’t given any details. One of the most famous escapes involved sneaking into the German quarters through a hole in the theater floor which led into the ceiling of a dentist office. From there they dressed up like German soldiers and just marched out the front door. The plan was ingenious, but it is filmed in such a way that the viewers don’t know that. The movie takes all the details for granted, thinking perhaps that they aren’t important or that the audience wouldn’t be interested. In doing this, you rob the story of all the suspense and drama. Instead of thinking "oh no are they going to get caught?" as they are stealing materials to make German uniforms, we cut straight to the POWs dressed as Germans trying to get out the gate; all suspense that could have been is successfully eliminated with this technique. That is really what set “The Great Escape” apart from this movie (besides a stellar cast and an amazing director). It showed the escape attempts in all their gritty details and it is a much more compelling film because of that.

The characters could be confused quite easily, and about 1/3 of the dialog was foreign but not subtitled. Other than that I suppose this was a fine movie, but I couldn’t get past the seeming laziness of the storytelling.

My rating: 3 out of 5

Side note: one of the escape attempts that was not covered in the movie involved building a glider and flying out of Colditz from the chapel roof. I am not making that up; they actually built one but the war ended before the glider was completely finished; its sad they never got to use it. Its just too awesome an idea not to mention in this review.