The Killer (1986)

The Killer (1986)
Director: John Woo

Tagline: "One vicious hitman. One fierce cop. Ten thousand bullets." Haha! Yup. That just about sums it up.

Someone once said to Quentin Tarantion, "I suppose Woo can direct action scenes" to which Tarantino replied "Sure, and Michelangelo can paint ceilings." Well, "The Killer" is a John Woo movie, and there were plenty of action sequences. So if you want to see what Tarantino was talking about, watch this movie.

The movie is about a killer (this may explain the title) who accidentally blinds a girl during a gunfight. He feels bad after that and befriends her so that he can help her get an operation for new eyes. The only trouble is, she needs money; he should have money coming to him for a hit he performed, but the guy who hired him to do the hit doesn’t seem to want to give him the money. And the cops are hot on his trail.

This movie may have one of the highest body counts of any action film I have seen. The action sequences are what this movie is all about; they are so over the top I have a hard time knowing how to describe it. You have one guy (the Killer) with a pistol and he single handedly kills 30+ other guys with machine guns, shotguns, grenades etc. Every time a bad guy gets shot there is a huge spray of blood. Every time someone reels backwards or jumps into the air the movie goes into slow motion mode.

The action scenes have energy; I’ll give them that but they seemed a little cluttered to me. It was hard to get an understanding of where everyone was and what they were doing. Maybe that’s what Woo was trying to do. I personally like to know where all the key players are and what their strategies are, but that’s just me. This movie was a triumph of melodrama; so much so that it kind of took me out of the movie. I kept thinking "Wow. He single handedly shot 15 machine-gun guys with that little revolver of his; he is an amazing shot but all those dead guys really stink. Maybe they need to train more."

My rating: 3 out of 5

The Forgotten

The Forgotten (2004)
Director: Joseph Ruben

This movie was adequate. Nothing more. Nothing new, nothing great. It seemed to be a cross of "Conspiracy Theory" and "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".

Julianne Moore plays a mother whose child died in a plane crash with several other children on the way to a summer camp. One day she finds all her pictures and videos of her son have disappeared. No one remembers her son, and there is no record of her son ever having lived. Everyone thinks she is crazy. But is she? Well you’ll just have to watch the movie if you…no she is not crazy.

This movie was entertaining, but has more holes than you can even count. I don’t like plot holes; I like a tight plot. This is one of those films that wants you to think, but not too much. They want you to consider the questions they ask, but don’t try asking any questions of your own or you will be disappointed. The ending was particularly unsatisfying as everything turned out all happy and nice, but really had no right to. If you want to see a much better movie watch "Conspiracy Theory" instead. Or Invasion of the Body Snatchers for that matter (the old or the new version will work).

My rating: 3 out of 5

Tarzan the Ape Man

Tarzan the Ape Man (1932)
Director: W.S. Van Dyke

This movie had some amazing parts. It was also amazingly politically incorrect (but so were the books). I used to love these movies when I was little; it was a lot of fun to see them again.

The story is about a girl named Jane who comes to visit her father in Africa. They go on a journey to find an elephant burial ground. Their party is separated by an attack from dangerous spear-wielding natives. Enter Tarzan. Tarzan meets Jane and decides…well he decides he wants her in his tree. He doesn’t really do anything with her, I think he was just bored and wanted something fun to look at. And he has a monkey. That’s pretty much it. He plays with Jane, saves some people, and screams a lot. It is better than it sounds.

This movie has Tarzan wrestling several animals. A leopard, some sort of deer, and two lions. What amazed me was that he actually fights live animals. This isn’t one of those movies where they unconvincingly fight a stuffed or animatronic animal. These animals are the real deal and let me tell you, the lions especially did not seem happy. They sure don’t make movies like they used to. The scenes where Tarzan is flying through the jungle rate right up there with Spiderman for amazing and awe-inspiring acrobatic movie performances.

There is one point in the movie where Tarzan is arguing with the chimp and he gets angry and pushes the chimp. I don’t know why but I laughed so hard watching that. I rewound it and watched it 5 times. I mean who does that? How often do you see a movie where someone shoves a chimpanzee. Never. You never see that in a movie. Another of my favorite scenes is when a herd of elephants stampede through a pygmy village (really just a whole lot of black midgets). And elephant runs up to a pygmy, picks him up with his trunk and throws him. I was in awe. “How did they film that?” I thought. How do you get an elephant to throw a midget without hurting him? I don’t know, but if you watch this movie keep a lookout for that scene and maybe you can tell me.

It’s a little outdated, but still a lot of fun. I think they should make a live action Tarzan movie today; sort of a cross between Planet of the Apes and King Kong. It could be totally awesome. They should follow the books more. The books are great.

My rating: 4 out of 5

More movie ratings...

I am once again falling behind in writing reviews. Until I can catch up here is a brief overview of what movies I have been watching and what I thought of them.

The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) – 2
The Boxer – 3
Trading Places – 3
Three Colors Trilogy – Blue (1993) – 3
You, Me and Dupree – 3
The Navigator/The Boat/The Love Nest – 4
Go West/The Scarecrow/The Paleface – 4
College – 4
Guns of Navarone – 4
Blood Simple – 4
The Dreamers (2003) – 4
Munich – 5
Battle Royale – 5
Fargo – 5